Part 4 – The Servant Leader

NOTE: This is the last in a 4-part series. Be sure you’ve read Part 1 (Introduction), Part 2 (The Surrendered Leader) and Part 3 (The Strong Leader) before you continue.

One word that might fitly describe God’s calling for the man of God is “humility.” Sadly, in our day there is a lack of humility among Christian men, especially in our conservative, independent Baptist churches. The place where the biblical principle of male leadership is taught and practiced has all too often become the place where women feel devalued, children feel unloved and the Gospel is ineffective at best, because of an overemphasis on masculinity at the expense of the “fruit of the Spirit” (Galatians 5:22-23).

What has come to be known as “toxic masculinity” has surely been taken to an extreme by our society, but just as certain is the fact that a legitimately unbiblical and ungodly overemphasis on male authority has taken root in otherwise good churches. This mentality has created an environment where the secret sins of men flourish, the more visible sins of women are harshly rebuked and genuine abuse is often glossed over or left hidden altogether. Is it any wonder that even the most articulate Gospel message will usually fall to the ground before it is received by someone in bondage to one of the lifestyles of our day? I wonder how often one of those dear souls is branded a reprobate by a man who offers instant judgement rather than hope of redemption and freedom from the judgement to come.

As prevalent and destructive as this attitude is in the church, it is perhaps even more so in the Baptist home, where secrets often remain under the rug where they’ve been swept. It is a fearful notion to ponder how many “good Baptist men” lead their homes with an iron fist, but have yet to surrender to Christ for salvation, let alone a daily death to self. These men are strong leaders only in their own minds, as many don’t even realize they lack the tools to stand watch over the hearts of their wives and children.

A true man of God is called to be a servant leader, not an unloving king or a dictator. A servant leader understands the heart of Ephesians 5:22-33. He understands, for example, that when Paul is exhorting wives in verse 22 to submit “unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord,” he is not suggesting that a wife must submit to her husband in the same way she does to the Lord. On the contrary, my godly wife will submit to me out of obedience to the Lord, not out of an unquestioning obedience to me that makes me some sort of idol. God forbid! I am NOT the Lord! I make mistakes; I can be selfish. She is not obligated to sin for me. I can be wrong. She has a mind, she has her own relationship with God, and in some areas she has wisdom that I don’t. I will answer to God for how I’ve led; she will answer to God for how she has followed.

Verses 25-27: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

A servant leader leads how Christ led. I am to lead for the benefit of my wife and children. What do I get out of it? I get to die. That’s right, I need to die for my family, as Christ died for the church. That means I die to myself daily, not for their salvation but, in a sense, for their sanctification. In other words, I am to pursue and promote those things that conform myself, my wife and my kids to the image of Christ. My goal is to make my wife beautiful in holiness. I am to lead my family in true biblical holiness. Not in religious legalism, but in the fruit if the Spirit.

We began this series of articles with 1 Corinthians 16:13, in which God commands us as men to stand firm, watching over our families and churches with strength, courage and resolve. We cannot even begin to be what we are called to be until we are surrendered to the One who called us. Examine yourself, Sir. Do you have the prerequisite relationship with God through Jesus Christ as Saviour and Lord of your life? If you’re not sure, nothing else matters until that is settled. Once it is, you can be confident in your strength as a man of God, but take care that your definition of strength is a biblical one.

Many times we define strength, not biblically, but according to the Roman Empire. We declare resolutely, “I’m going to lead my family; I’m going to lay down the law; I’m going to enforce things in my home!” Instead, we end up destroying our families with legalism. Instead of being servant leaders we become sovereign kings. We make ourselves dictators, rather than directors. In 1 Corinthians 16, verse 14 is the counterbalance that checks verse 13. It corrects us and keeps us from the extreme. “Let all your things be done with charity.” This is strength dressed in love.

By no means should a man be like a mouse. Actually, in some ways he should be like a charging warhorse. But this warhorse is one who is controlled. His reigns are in the perfect hands of God Almighty. He also has a bit in his mouth, and that bit is love. He has the power of a charging warhorse. He can be as violent and dangerous as a bear, but he’s controlled by the powerful, yet perfect love of God.